I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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