Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
