It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
