the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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