i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
