She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
