I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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