I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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