reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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