It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
