i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
