"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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