One girl and one boy is just not enough.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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