if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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