a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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