We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
