On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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