I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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