I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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