I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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