whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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