Do you still have your period?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
