I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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