I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
