I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And then he peed in my hair
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