Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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