how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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