Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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