YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
