So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
