Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
