I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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