You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
MIDGETS
????
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
