Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
