i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
