I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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