PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
