She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
