What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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