you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
