I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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