Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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