I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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