When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
