Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my sisters under your porch take her home
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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