I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
