whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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