she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
