Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
