I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
