Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I looked at my own cervix.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
