I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
