Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
