Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
