so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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