so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
